A Little Me

Mocking, laughing , pointing at me,
Unfelt sweet words of care.
A stranger with all those i know,
Trying to hide it, but it always will show.

Rising blood lust, self hate,
I will hurt me, so u will escape.
Not wanting, yet i will go to pain,
Burning hate and rivers of blood i'l gain.

A little love and bit more of hate,
If you want to save me, your just late.
I dont love to live, not like this,
But i cant take this change.

All i want is to sleep,
Pile up and burn in my hate heap.
Im just a boy who wants some fun,
You still wanna know why i point a gun?

Wiseman

You keep talking of legend and lore,
Oh do shut up! your such a bore.
Open your mouth and let out a roar,
Close your nose and try to snore.

Take that sword and learn to dance,
No, dont get into your freaky trance.
Vice and versa is your life,
Its nice in bed with your wife.

On and on and on you drone,
why make me pay without a loan?
I crawl and claw out of the room,
Over your head, a dancing broom.

Hug and hump and hog yourself,
Put your body on a shelf.
I'l take her home, your bonnie lass,
Dont you worry, i hid your head in the trash.

Blood Rose

Drip - drop, drip - drop it hits the floor,
Mixing with unholy flour.
I mix and ground and put it in a mold.
It shines brighter than a bar of gold.

I leave the wound to drip and bleed,
Roll out the barrel of old mead.
The tables set and the bride is here,
Unseen darkness coming near.

I get the knife, you hold my head,
The unheard words have been said.
The knife is through and i am dead,
On me they lay the flower of dread.

Schizo

I scream and shout cuz im scared,
You look cute, long legs wide spread.
Yet dont lie to me, I aint dead,
Close your eyes and I'l fill you with dread.

Dont come to me, you smell of sweat,
Theres blood and guts in your bread.
A little awkward, yet dont swear,
Pointless convo's , Crappy wear.

Dont do the things i do like,
Mess your hair without a spike.
Scream in joy and shout in pain,
Have your bath in the rain.

I'm messing with your head,
Cold dark nights, heavy as lead.
Now quit this game and look at me,
Open your eyes and let me see.

Senseless Lie

Stick out your tongue and try to sing,
Pick up the the phone before it begins to ring.
Lift your hands and punch the air,
Screaming, be lost in the rear.

Put the gun to your head,
Hear the bang in your ear.
Pull of your skin and pretend its shed,
Jump off a cliff at low gear.

Drink your piss and think its beer,
Try to grin when your scared.
Take a knife and think of it as a spear,
Go and lick an unshaven beard.

When you do this i will pray,
Scream and shout because your gay.
I'l take a knife and poke your eye,
I end this poem with a lie.

Reaper's List

Silent, Unnerving and dark at times,
The air is rent with your unheard cries.
Nails dig deep into flesh,
These wounds of mine are still fresh.

Claw out and take this heart,
Sing to it, Lines forgot.
Lore and legend lost in the past,
This world of light, in dark contrast.

You may live and yet be dead,
Walking alone, filled with dread.
This life of creepers and tangled twine,
The clock is ticking, your time or mine?

Hang me or keep my head on a guillotine,
This sweet death is yours, not mine.
They dont even know you exist,
For your names only on my list.

Unwritten

Im so silent while the world is singing,
those piercing words are still stinging.
just simple words that make and break,
tiny things i do for your sake.

simple to crush and walk away,
but if i begged, would you stay?
it doesnt mean that i'l be with you,
i only care for them, its true.

the simple things you dont see,
im happily lost in this sea.
all the things that are never said,
they lie at the bottom, quietened and dead.

Change has come and your are different,
i have closed up and my heart is spent.
the words arent heard anymore,
never will there be such a lore.

Points Of Change

The authors riting this as he sits on his bed in the darkness in his room, his face lit by the light of the lappy. The reason he writes is because after a long time, indeed it seems like decades has he realised that he doesnt write for others to read, but for himself to breath.As he writes it, he takes a break to get up and switch on the light(the darkness was getting to him). Also, he takes out a moment to tell the grim reaperess that he loves her, its important to him that she knows.Her being there, now, at this moment in his life, it means the world to him, to have her with him, to have someone who understands him, who loves him, it means the world to him.Today he's been a fool, not a normal one, not a massive one, nor a dumb one, but a fool nonetheless, a depressed fool.
There are times when the author is a fool like this, when he forgets what some people mean to him, when he thinks of only himself, of his problems, his troubles and his heart and this is when he pushes them away, all of them, creating barriers, creating walls around himself. Even though he regrets it all later, at that moment he doesnt feel, he doesnt see, but later he crawls back to them, back to them on his knees and they still take him back, much like you people too, you always still come to me, even though i come and go and never tell when i go, and this is what makes the author realize that how important you all are, how important those people are, how very very important she is and all he can do is thank you all. Its inadequate i know, but thats all he can do, so sincerely, lovingly I THANK YOU ALL!. Each and every single one of you, every single special person in my life, and i dont promise that i wont be a fool again, nor do i promise that i'l never go away again. But, i do promise, i'l be back always, as long as you take me back, i'l always keep coming back.
The author would like to thank Blackmyst3ry, Flowie, Arty, BK, Krit, Hot fudge and every other person who has stood by this blog. He wishes you all feel good after reading this, and that Arty continues to be funny and that all of you are happy.
*Big Hugzzzz to everyone

Cry

I have seen pain,
I have stood alone in the rain.
I have seen a happy man cry,
All a part of this one big lie.

Some say, somethings not right,
Others say im out of my mind.
And yet I alone will know whats right,
A lucky one to escape these binds.

when alone, in my heart, I sing,
sometimes this madness is hard to believe.
Rite now i wanna go tra la la ling ling,
for tonight i'l think of you as im sleeping





sorry for bearing with this one, one of the crappiest poems by the author.......

Sillyness

I sit here and silently write,
to try and ease my troubled mind.
Sitting alone, with my thoughts to fight,
A little bored, as my mind i grind.

I wish to dance and sing and sway,
A wish to walk on an unpaved way.
To take a knife and beat a sword,
to find the needle in a rampaging herd.

I think of her sitting here,
I wish i could bite her ear.
My brothers sleeping on my side of the bed,
im thinking how large is his head.

Im talking to a friend who's sweet,
yet she must work, just so she may eat.
They took my phone and put it to charge,
I wish my stupid house had a garage.

These silly things dance through my head,
But, "Silly is sweet" i always said.
So now i prance about the house,
while they sleep, I chase an imaginary mouse.

Riveries of thoughts in the bus

I laugh out loud in my head,
Smiling out in vain.
With open eyes i feel so dead,
I poke myself to feel the pain.

To the world i am insane,
And yet this troubled mind is so sane.
Far away in my thoughts i seem,
My eyes feel vacant of their gleam.

Sitting here i think of her as i sway,
So close to me, yet so far away.
Silently i pray i was dead,
Just so i could fly away to her.

The Good Life

Loud noises and unclear voices,
Silently they sail over my head.
I see their laughing faces,
I wonder what was said.

My hands are cold,
My feet feel so numbed.
I listen to the singers sing,
The words continue to be said, I can't even hear my phone ring.

I try to speak, to be heard,
An unknown part of this crazy herd.
Is it me? or is it luck?,
Why all alone, so stuck?

Wait for me little longer

scattered clouds littering the sky,
watching, unmoving, as the world passes by.
with open wings, flitting through the clouds i fly,
Far above this world of deceit, an unending lie.

I fight against these invisible hands of time,
to let go of me, to let me be who i am.
these chains are clamped hard and strong,
yet there is nothing that can withstand a heart felt song.

I think of you and the chains do snap,
your beautiful eyes breaking me away from this trap.
a want to hold you in my arms,
to gently lay with you in the moonlit sands.

i fly faster at the moon, impatient to be with you,
after all the moon has got something to do with you.
just wait for me a little longer love,
Don't let go as of yet, we'll dance yet again in our cove.

The Tale Of The Reaper

The author has decided to go on a new literary adventure and has decided to write a story. He was inspired by the writings of three great writers, Flo, Arty and Blackmystery . So thanks to them, here he is, writing about the creation of the grim reaper. Hope it is entertaining to all the readers, please be generous with your comments. Criticism is most appreciated.(Yes the author is some what a gentleman.)


The Tale Of The Grim Reaper

The winds raged across the gentle green - blue surface of
his beloved planet, he had made it with such care, such
love. It had brought him great joy, the only creation of
his, that he had bestowed life upon.It had put a smile on
his ageless face for years. Even though time did not
affect him, the smile was something rare to behold for
one such as I. Yet we must go on, for this tale is not
about him or me, nor so much of the green blue planet
called earth, the planet of life, home of the humans.This
tale, this lore i tell, is of he, the one who ends all
life, the silent collector of souls.Now we go back to our
story, in the time before the creation of the infamous
Grim Reaper.

This indeed was the reason that bothered the creator as
he sat upon his pedestal, right in the centre of his
creation, the beautiful universe, a fine colage of
myraiding colors.A frown creased his ever gentle face, it
disturbed me to see him this way, for it had indeed been
a while since the creator had done anything but smile as
he had watched over his creations.As i watched he absent
mindedly knocked over a vase, causing rain to pour down
on earth, it often amused me as to how clumsy he could
be. what with being the creator of all things, one
expected something better, but still , i could not think
of any other man or immortal that could do what he the
creator did better than the being himself. His unfocused
eyes seemed, at that moment to find me standing beside
him, a sigh escaped his lips."My friend" he said to me,"I
know it worries you to see me so, but this problem i
face, it eats at me"."Then share it with me and we may
come upon a solution"i said to him as i walked upto his
pedestal."Aye, maybe that is indeed what i shall do"he
said with another sigh,"The matter my friend of countless
ages, is relating to earth, you are surely aware of my
love for the planet. The thing that worries me is bought
about by my own lack of clear thinking"I looked at him
with a little unease, he was not one to regret things.
This i believe more than anything made me want to hear
him out and thus i listened to him as he went on.

Responsibility

Responsibility, the word often used by mothers or even adults in general and also the one of the many words which creep teenagers out. Today the author would like at pick at the term, the concept of responsibility.(Yes, he was inspired to write about it because he got one of those 'oh so dreaded' lectures about it.) Responsibility is often confused with maturity, now the author would like to emphasize that they are completely two very different things.(No, not only because of their spellings, but also because of their meanings!) As far as maturity goes, it is more or less the act of understanding your duties and also what is wrong and right in life. Maturity does not, i repeat, it does NOT dump itself upon you. Whereas on the other hand, our dear old friend responsibility, at some point of time in every ones life's, decides to dump itself on them.(Yes the fact that it also help shape their lives is important.) Now as is widely believed, people tend to think that children do not have any responsibilities,(By children, the author also means teenagers, so kindly do not sue him for not making a separate mention). Children and teenagers in all their innocence (And not so much innocence, in the case of teenagers), still do shoulder responsibility. Lets for instance take the life of a school going kid, it is indeed full of responsibilities, the poor child has the often maddening responsibility of doing his homework(The author agrees that homework sounds like a trivial thing, but he would also like to point out that it is children we are talking about). Similarly in the case of teenagers, their responsibility is to learn the ropes of life and do well in their studies so as to have a good future.(Yes, it also partly means that they need to be more understanding towards their parents.).But, now we come to the point where adults seem to have a distorted view of things, according to most of the so called grown up and more responsible part of the population, being responsible means that a person should stop having fun in life and forever be bogged down by things which should not be thought on for too long. Now the author for one has a different view about responsibility, yes he agrees that it is essential to life, but also he believes that responsibility can never be completely full filled until you now what the other form of life is like too. Yes, be serious when you have too, be all responsible, but have fun while doing it too, make sure you know that you can laugh and make others laugh as well. responsibility is a part of life, not life a part of responsibility.
Moral of the essay - the author wants you to always have fun in life, come what may!

Singers Of The Song

i lift my hands up and try to pray,
falling down on my knees in vain.
This is all you can do they say,
so easy it flows, they dont feel the pain.

I see you in so many tubes,
fear grips my heart and holds it tight.
will you awaken from this bed of lies?
For you alone i carry on this fight.

Leave them all and come to me,
i wait with arms opened wide.
dont you feel? dont u see?
slowly you and i shall be drowned in their sea.

I wait here to pull you back to shore,
pull you back to where you belong.
not all are lies in legend and lore,
together we shall once again sing the true song.


The author feels like coming back to blogging again so holler up ppl and im coming back to town ;)

Emoness

Firstly the author would like to apologize to all the readers for not posting for so long, he was lost somewhere in his own mind (No he does not have a mind map!). The author would like to thank you all for still sticking to his blog even through its thick and thin. He would also like to take this opportunity to wish that all you readers have a nice day. =)

The author would like to touch on this very controversial topic of emo people, or as they are not so popularly known, emotional people. Being one of them, he would like to clarify certain misconceptions about emo people(No he is not crying or moping while writing this!!). Emo people are just people who have a little less control over their emotions, this is not something they like or have a choice over, mostly some incident in their lives makes them forget what it is to be like everyone else, they tend to start thinking a lot more deeply and profoundly(Yes the poems are a result of these emotions!). The stereotypes of being emo according to people is that emo people cry a lot, wear black all the time, always want to die, never take interest in life, never reveal their emotions and that they r dumb and sissy like. There are indeed people like these, but they are not emo's, we emo people are like other people too. We have emotions which are NOT dead!(The author would like to apologize for being a little pissed) Emo people may indeed like the concept of death and the color black, but that is usually due to the fact that they have been through some form of tragedy in their lives. It does not give any other person any right to make fun of us(Yes, the us refers to the author and the emo people). All of us have our flaws in life, and all that is wrong with emo people is that they have uncontrollable emotions. It is not so hard to be sensitive to other peoples emotions or feelings. The author would like to request the reader to be a little more sensitive to an emo person the next time they come across one.
Right now the author would like to stop writing.
He wishes that you all have a great day and keep smiling. =)

The Silent King Of Songs

Silently walking through the night,
Unhaunted by screams of fright.
Quiet steps on the ground,
Aimlessly walking around.

screams piercing through the night,
His men have lost the fight.
Going on without a though,
his mind is blank,the war fought.

Tired eyes look for him,
finding him as he sings.
Gentle melodies floating through the darkness,
resting in the heart of the lifeless.

He walks through the open fields,
tired and spent he feels.
Its time to once again meet his lover,
She waits for him in the lands of the maker.

He tells his men to lay down their arms,
to leave him alone with his songs.
They hear him sing loud and clear into the dark,
They bow their heads as he, for her,departs.

Tear

This is something the author liked very much =)


"If I were to be reborn,
Let me be reborn as your tears
So that I can be born in your heart
made in your eyes
live my life on your cheeks
And die on your lips"

Thunder

As the thunder streaks across the sky,
illuminating patches of land with its light.
muffling with its boom , the child's cry,
a tiny figure holding on to the tree, tight.

tears, mixing with the rain, stream down his face,
small eyes, spread wide in fear.
Underage player, casualty of the rat race,
separated, from loving ones he holds dear.

Frightened faces in the windows show their worry,
bold words and a conscience long buried.
with oppressed souls they say their sorry,
leaving the crying mother and the father worried.

They sent him out, knowing the storm was coming,
sent him far to hold him closer.
the world is dull and the birds arent singing,
they stand and wait for him to return home a winner.

The boy is quiet, he cries no longer,
his silence speaking more than words.
he'l learn to master his fear,his anguish harder,
the thunder made him as sharpened as a sword.

Moonlight Dancer

I swing my arms, so happy,
flowing in the rhythm of your joy.
the peace invades my mind,
i believe now is the time.

I slide into the center of the ring,
with natural grace i swing.
To flow from one form to another,
to dance with the joy of a lover.

I swing through this mindless fray,
keeping sorrow and pain at bay.
laughing i waltz through the walkways of time,
contended swinging in the motion of life.

I watch you looking at me dance,
swaying in the rhythm's trance.
Taking your hand i sway with you,
Lifting you high, loving you.

This dance of live is meant for two,
dance with me, this is what we are meant to do.
swaying with me,letting me hold on to you,
Elegance in life be true.

By Your Side

I tuck in my wings and smile,
I close my eyes and see into your eyes.
I take in my last breathe of solitude,
your scent is filling my soul.

I clench my fists tight,
missing your touch.
I spread my arms wide,
my heart smiles, as my eyes cry.

leaping off the edge,
towards the end my time.
speeding towards the light,
i see you waiting for me on the other side.

I reach out and feel your touch,
gently i draw you closer.
Opening my eyes to your smile,
Im glad to be by your side.

This Night

i wish to hang on to you forever,
hold you in my arms and feel your warmth.
Something about you saves me,
babe, i need you tonight.

stay with me here tonight,
hold me in your arms, tight.
I look at you in the eyes,
desperately drinking in their light.

sit with me here tonight,
make me feel everything is all right.
lay in my arms forever,
let me hold you close, hold you tight.

Dont go leaving me tonight,
let me drink your soul.
lay with me tonight,
let me love you forever more.

Memories

All of my memories keep you near,
deep in my heart, antidote to my fear.
Babe you know i'l hold you close,
i'l be with you, when i'm gone.

I'l leave you with memories,
to keep me me near.
Memories for you to hold dear,
Enough for you to cherish after years.

In this life i'l try,
to leave you with enough love to remember me by.
All of those things which we did,
all those memories to keep me dear.

Hope there is a way,
to stay in your arms forever more.
To live those silent moments,
to remember my whispers in you ears.

Let the memories ease the pain inside,
know that i'l wait for you on the other side.
Someday you'l be mine, in my arms,
Then we'l leave the memories behind.

Wants

A tiny pawn in this game of life,
a twisted piece of flesh and bone.
A sodden soldier, battered by the hands of fate,
left to live on lifez scrapes.

A beaten man, a broken soul,
a stupid mission etched into his soul.
A mask of lies and his heart,
his weapons in this fight.

he looks his reflection in the eye,
he sees the pain, the deceit and the lies.
the mask slips over his face, the eyes go blank,
he looks again and hates himself.

the anger drives him mad,
a broken man, tearing at his face.
he wants to live, to laugh and smile,
he wants to be held and loved alike.

The stupid pawn wants a good life,
a want to be hugged and loved.
A cry of anger and tears,
The end is near.

Stalker

I come through your window, silent as can be,
I sit next to you, while you calm, in sleep be.
With shaking fingers i move the hair off your face,
with loving hands i stroke your hair.

I sit and watch your radiant face,
bathed in the moonlit glow.
Mesmerized by your eyes,
i run my hand gently on your face.

I take your soft hands in mine,
Stroking your fingers as you sleep.
I see the smile on your face,
i pray to god, to keep you so.

With moistened lips i kiss your finger tips,
i feel you gently stir.
I run my fingers through your hair,
softly i bite your ear.

I look at you sleeping there,
the moonlight dancing on your face.
I take the necklace and put it next to you,
something to remember our nights together too.

I brush my lips on your softer ones,
running my fingers on your face.
Sleep well, sleep true my beloved one,
I'l be with you forever more.

The End

Nay nay na nay na,
and a thousand pieces of my heart.
La la la la laa,
Sharper then the sharpest shard.

Hurts to play anymore,
to love you was the hardest thing i ever did.
To hope you'l love me too,
so foolish to expect more.

I waited on you for months,
For a three letter "yes".
I waited on you further,
But there was no more.

To lie to you is the hardest thing,
to talk to you through the pain.
I held out for so long,
Cant hang on anymore.

Too scary to never know,
so very insecure.
I hoped you would be mine,
But i might as well die.

∂αѕ ¢нαмäℓєση

Scared and afraid, you come to me,
with unsteady feet in the dark.
I hold out my arms to take you,
To wrap you forever in my embrace.

I see the fear twinkling in you eyes,
smiling i reach for my scythe.
Its so much fun, when they fear,
so much more bloodier.

You see the smile, the lusty eyes,
You feel my lust for blood.
You see me reach for the scythe, and realize,
You realize, that i'l make it pain.

I wait to let it sink in,
i wait for you to run.
Your mind is screaming, the heart, ever so loudly beating,
You turn to flee, but your body is stunned.

I swing my scythe, below your waist,
screaming, you fall on your face.
I laugh at your pathetic fate,
I lick your blood of my scythe.

You came to me, to set you free,
Dont cry now, im setting you free.
I stamp your heart and grin,
You bloody fool, Im ∂αѕ ¢нαмäℓєση.

Heart Breaker

The author is writing this post on love(Yes he knows its one of the most talked about topics!!).He is doing so because, like those other hundred thousand million people out there, he has suffered a heartbreak(No, that does not mean he is the heart break kid Shawn Micheals ). As is the universal rule, he should right now be cursing the person who has stomped all over his heart, but as it goes, the author can not bring himself to hate that person. That brings us to the crazy toughness a person requires to fall in love, its like a criteria. A person should not fall in love, if he cannot take the heart break. The author believes that it is safe to say, that he has suffered enough heart breaks to live through another one with ease, but that is never the case. Even if its a ruthless murder, he feels the pain of heart break.(Not that the author is a ruthless murder, though he might count as a murder for killing himself in the past ). Love, this epic four letter word, representing the bonding of two people, their joys and sorrows and their togetherness, is indeed a word which has made and destroyed destinies. There have been different kinds of lovers through the ages, too many for the author to mention here. But he would like to say, that he is proud to be one of those who even after a heart break, have never stopped loving. The author hereby pledges, that whatever may come, he shall ensure that he spreads enough love, so that one day, one people think of him, they'l remember to love.

Her Freedom

They hang the flags, head held high,
they paint it on their faces.
They tell you they all love her so,
They tell you they'l die for her.

Dancing and signing, they pass you by,
You stand and watch, on your face a grim smile.
They dance today, not tomorrow,
the love present only in their sorrow.

They raise it high, they raise it proud,
swinging it, they march together in large crowds.
You look at them, so close to each other, so kind,
Look closer, the anger, the greed you'l find.

60 Years of a country free,
60 Years of faking it be.
You look at them, and you know,
they cant fight, they have no will.

They lie to themselves, they make believe,
they look in the mirror, and a fractured man they see.
Standing there you look at them,
Silenty you slip away from them.

They'l live the lie,
they'l die in it.
Even a 100 years, couldnt free her of them,
They live for money, die for it.

You want to save her from their hands,
to let her be free again.
Yet you know, theres nothing you can do,
They'l sell her soul, they'l kill you too.

Walking silently into the night,
you cry for her dying soul.
You lift your eyes and pray to him,
Let her live, just once again.

A Wish

On open lawns and green wide fields,
under new trees of ancient seed.
The ever changing, everlasting wind,
blowing through our embrace.


Forever i would hold you close,
to never let you leave my sight.
I miss you by day, and at night,
A wish to hold you near.

To sit upon those open fields,
Under the cool shadows of the trees.
To slip my hand into urs,
A wish to someday, together, watch the stars.

To walk with you over bridges,
to feel your head upon my shoulder.
Sitting by the sea side,
A wish to kiss you tender.

To stare unto your eyes,
and to be lost in their beauty.
To someday draw you close,
A wish to entwine my fingers across your waist.

To fight all that comes my way,
to find you right by my side.
To forever look at your face,
A wish to die in your slender hands.

I promise to hold you close,
to be there, when you look for me.
I shall hold your hand and walk these shore,
A wish of mine, you be.

The Twist Of Fate

Yes the twist of fate is a official move used by WWE superstar Matt Hardy, but that is not what the author is referring to here. He is referring to the literal meaning of the string of words. Every time the author has said that to be happy for a while, you must be prepared to be unhappy fa few days, or a longer while, he has meant it as advise to other people. But, as the trend of advise goes, those who give it, never use it. Now this at any other time, would have seemed extremely rib cracking material to the author, but at times , as such, he hates to say that he agrees. Taking the recent circumstances of his life. The author a few posts earlier had said that, he had been a happy person, a contended person, But as time and again we see, that happiness is not to last longer than a few days(the author thinks that it never lasts longer than a week, but he would rather not claim so, as he has never been bothered enough to actually verify that fact ). So once again, the author is drawn into the battlefield, but this is no normal battle, this is a battle of words, of shattering hearts, and psychological warfare, of breaking minds. The author, readies his heart, gets up his barriers, streamlines his mind and kills all emotions. It is time to fight to survive.

The Suicide

I pierce my hand and watch the blood,
i yearn to feel its warmth.
my skin, it pales under its flow,
yet no warmth seeps into my soul.

I drag my feet towards the door,
So hard it be without the blood.
I look at them, all chatting, smiling,
I pray to the lord to keep them forever so.

I fall as my knees do buckle,
no more need of them, to me.
I see into the past again,
me sitting there, laughing with them.

A single tear, mixes with blood,
I loose all feeling in my lungs.
The hands dont move,
my legs do shiver.

I burn them into my soul,
i feel my brain go cold.
With unseeing eyes, i'l watch on them,
Forever now, i'l laugh with them.

W.D.

Whispered Words

In gentle words i'l break your heart,
i'l leave my touch on ur skin.
In whispered words i'l make you fear,
silently, u shall hear.

Its a play today,
we'll rehearse tomorrow.
I'l dance with you,
in the joy of your sorrow.

I'l hold you close, warm and tight,
tight enough for you to break by night.
U'l feel the warmth and the closeness,
The warmth of blood, and the closeness of death.

i'l break your heart and move away,
i'l watch u sway and fall.
I'l live and die with it all,
But never be able to live at all.

I stand and watch you walk on by,
past me and all your sorrows.
Its better if you go on by,
the pain and sorrow are all mine.

Cant watch you pay,
cant watch you suffer.
Aye man, just leave me be,
For death is the one for me.

W.D.

Enigmatrix

The author is writing this post, sitting in complete darkness except for the light of his laptop in his room. He likes the darkness again. It has come to be in the authors life, that once again his set of rules of life have proven themselves to be steadfast and true. The happiness that he believed had come into his life, left as unannounced as it had come, leaving the author standing in the wreckage of a blown out party. Every moment he believed that his life had changed, every second he told himself that the next day would be better. He was playing with himself, twisting the dagger deep into his soul. When he realized it had all blown apart, that the party was over before it had begun. He once again felt broken, but this time he didnt fall, his knees buckled a little, he staggered a moment under the pressure of the broken dreams, but eventually his legs held and he went back to his old life, to the place where he had come from. Once again now, the author closes himself, picks out another mask, puts it on and watches the world, all emotions suppressed and hidden under that mask of coldness and under those deep green oceans of his eyes.

*The author does not care to cry or to hurt himself anymore, he justs walks the path with the others, but all alone.

Flight of the burden

Today the author is happy to inform his readers that his new method of not telling anymore lies to his teacher reached a conclusive and happy ending today. The author is glad to let you know that due to his honesty and his will to achieve better and make a better person of himself, he, the author has been able to do well in his exams. His DELEC lab test was superb and the author is expecting a distinction grade, also his DELEC written paper went pretty well. But, the most important happening in the authors life today, was that, his c# programming project was approved by the teacher and his honesty was appreciated, when he openly told his teacher about the fact that he had taken help from his friends to do the project, and that he understood only 75% of the project. Also the author is glad to inform that he passed his c# practical test with distinction as well(The author might seem studious, but believe me, he isnt!). Also the author would like to take this opportunity to thank Jonathan Lim and Kenji Teo, his classmates and good friends who helped him complete his project.Now the author is able to relax his mind till tuesday night, where he shall once again be worried by the approaching web designing test(Yes, the authors life is extremely dull and boring for the past one week).
Also since, tomorrow the author has no lectures, he plans to go out and spend his day with some of his good friends, More about "The Adventures Of Author And Friends" in tomorrows post.

*The author wishes all readers a pleasant day and night.

Unblue Monday

The author is writing about his monday, the day of blues and over powering urges to sleep in class. The author started his monday on a worried note, and a frown upon his brow. He had not completed his project as of yet, and he was due to hand in, but as we all know (if u do not know, then please refer to previous posts) the author had made a pledge unto himself to tell the truth about his work to his teachers,(oddly, telling the truth got him into less trouble).Since the author had not his project with him, he was allowed to leave early, though he still had a class later that day, the author decided to skip the last class(Note - the author is notorious for bunking classes). Then the author decided to meet up with a good friend and spend the rest of his "college time", in another college, relaxing with his friend. Though it took a lot of time(and considerable sum of money)to get to his friends college, he finally made it there. Once there, he was yet again lost for a bit, while trying to find his friend. Once though he had met her, they went and sat down in the corridor of the recording rooms(Yes they sat on the floor, No the did not do recording). Now as it was supposed to be according to plan, they were to watch a movie. But, suddenly, out of the blue, the author had this mad urge to make an angel. So he quickly took out his notepad(No he did not have a sketchbook with him!)and began to draw, first came the wings and then the rest of the body(No he is not describing child birth : ). Overall the author has to say that he was quite pleased with himself(as even though he had an active imagination, he sucked at drawing).
Later he is happy to say, he had a great time with his friend and they chatted till pretty late.
All in all, the author had a suprisingly good monday.


*The author would like to take this oppurtunity to thank Princess Fatimah Tariq for hanging out with him.

Angels

The author has copied this post from his previous blog, in memory of old friends =)





Hi!! and a good mornin to most of u ppl. My first serious topical post is on angels, infact special types or breeds of angels.A few months back i recieved a sms from my frend back home from india, and it read " Angels exist but sometimes as not all of them have wings they are called FRIENDS" . Yea u gussed it this post is goin out to my angelic frenz, if not for some of em, i dont noe where or wat i would be doin now. When i was in india(i noe my indian frenz arent readin this but im compelled to rite em down)i had a awesome bunch of 6 frenz. We were like the 7 musketeers, always together,helpin each other out.Sadly things driffted appart and i was left with only of my frenz from our group. Then secondary skl saw me makin some really true frenz, who im glad to say are still my frenz. I noe none of u care who they were but for my own sake i write down thier names- Osama, Rajat and Anjishnu. Even though anji went away after a while to Vancouver i never will forget him.
Then i came here to Singapore and i thought that my frend life was done, but by gods grace i have found friends here i really never expected too. In my secondary skl i found a guy named gaurav and i swear if he isnt an angel then no one is.He's got me outta tight spots so much that i v truly lost all count. Even now after i have finished my sec skl we still keep in touch and he's still helpin me out.Infact im meetin him today.
I.T.E life has also delivered to me some awesome frenz, to name em Vanessa,Belle,Naz,Dom and Sim and so onn......... These guys are pretty good fun frenz and thanx to these guys im well becomin relatively more comfy in singapore(thnx belle).Also dom thnx for helpin me to learn the drums for free and thnx vanessa for well..........bein my friend same to naz and sim.Other than these guyz i have another couple of i.t.e frenz namely Kezia,Jerms(Jeremy) and well the rst of the bunch .thnx to jerms and kez im kinda well more open round people and stuff(sry guyz i really cant describe how i feel).Also other than i.t.e friendster and s.i. helped me find this friend Princess(also her sis whose pretty cool i have to say though i dont noe her much yet) ! and i would like to specially thank her for bein there u noe, also im sry i noe i bug u a lot.(actually sry to all of u i v bugged u all a lot).Guyz i request you remain who you are Angels!! ill never forget u all!!

The Force

The author is writing this because he is restless, he has this force running through him. A power pure and true, he looks at his blog skin and he feels like the howl escaping the wolf's mouth, fighting around the branches of the trees, jumping through them in joy, using a relentless power. He feels like the beam of moonlight, shooting down the shaft, flitting through the wind with pleasure unknown. He feels his mind on the brink of opening, even though his body is wracked with tiredness, his mind holds the power to thrust out such jolts of pure imagination to actually create substance. I f god ever built anything, he built it with this power. The author feels confident enough to jump down the building and somehow convinces himself that the power of the force will save him, its the pleasure of being invulnerable. He feels the scream of unbounded joy tear at his lungs to be let out, to shake the world, and the author shuts his eyes tight and flies through the air at speeds unheard of, his body unmoving, but his soul covering bounds in seconds, going to places unknown. This be the joy, the feeling a person feels when he has a imaginative mind{note - the author is NOT praising himself!!}.
*The author wishes that someday all of you feel the power of the force flitting through your souls.
To infinity and beyond we go!!

Interesting uninterestingness

Another of the authors hapless posts. So do feel free to read and get bored. The author is writing this because he is extremely sleepy, but doesnt really want to fall asleep. Today the author's silent little dog, his ever watching companion fell sick, causing pandemonium in the household. Though the author loves his pets, he was not really affected by this sudden onslaught of sickness, infact he had already made his "diagnosis". None the less, the praying mother and the worried father, screamed their lungs out at him to take the dog to the vet, to get him all checked out. With super slowness and dragging feet, he somehow reached the vet. There he found that his dog was sick, a cold he had bereft. So with boredom on his face and some "polite"thoughts swirling in his head, he headed back to his "sanctuary", where he was met with the still shouting mother and a brainless brother, who bugged him till he was lost. Shouting his way through the mayhem the author somehow managed to reach back to his room, emotionally and physically unharmed. Thus passed another eventful afternoon in the life of the author.

*feel free to kill the author for boring the life out of you.

Life

passionate dispassionateness,
loving hate.
unsophisticated sophistications,
darkened light.

swiveling shards of broken dreams,
and shallow breaths of pain.
little reveries of memories,
and endless nights of rain.

sounds of crunching glass,
and silent gasps of pain.
firmly shut, closed eyes,
and articulately colored dreams.

revolving thoughts in the head,
incoherent words in vain.
red splotches on the carpet,
blood running from the insane.

quiet stories in the dark,
truly learnt, well and sharp.
unanswered questions by the dawn,
unbroken silent on the lawn.

a sleight of hand, decisive toss,
a twisted path of game.
silent players in the light,
to be played by life.

A Dance Of The Past With The Present

The author is writing this while he's lying on his bed, thoughts flitting through his mind and making sense in an odd sense of way. He pens this down as more for himself than for you, 'the reader'. Since his last post a couple of hours ago, the author had the fortune of spending time with his family, and as is the rule of family meetings, things of the past have to crop up, in the form of half forgotten memories. Some painful, some full of fun, some remembering those long gone and some in honor of each other. Today the author had the fortune of getting to know more about his past, something that has ebbed away from him, the tales of his childhood and those of his parents and their thinking at his age reminded the author as to how alike he was to his parents. It was pleasant for the author to know about times gone by, and to understand the meanings of things left unexplained and to know what mistakes his parents had made and to understand why they had made those mistakes and also why he must not make them. Today the author would like to present this entry as a tribute to his beloved (if sometimes obnoxious and insufferable ) parents.

*The author is feeling content at the moment and wishes all the readers (if any at all :|) to have a pleasant day(or night).

The Children Of Boredom

The sole reason for the author to make this post is that the author is supremely bored. He has had the 'pleasure' of spending an entire day in his house like an animal in a locked cage. His ready reprieve to boredom, his every trusty knight, the ever so faithful internet, went through a change of heart and fled my service during my hour of need. When the defaced knight came back to reclaim his post, the others had already left it unmanned. Thus leaving the author with an afternoon filled with nothing but boredom and sleepiness. Thankfully for the author, sleep crept over him and he slipped into unknown lands looking for adventure. But it was not to be, his boredom followed him into his lands of dreams and left him with empty blank spaces, making for an uneventful sleep. When the author awoke, he found that he had overshot his target by a couple of hours, and that his guardians had thought that he be left to sleep in his own 'BEST INTERESTS'.
Thus yet again, an uneventful day in the life of the author passed by, as uneventfully as possible.



*The author hopes he bored you enough, that boredom finds you a much boring host and leaves the author alone and comes after you.

**Slow evil laughter.

A Silent Observer

The reason the author is riting this is because he is extremely bred sitting in his c# programming class, hez reflecting on all the things that led him here. Itz a regret fr sure, he wanted to go into aeronautics for his dad, for his families sake. But he knows that if he had made it there, there too he would have been unhappy. He wasnt made to do serious things, he was made with a spirit to spread joy, not with one that was boring and dull and alone, like how it had become now. The author greatly craves for his old soul, but it has been away for him for so long now that he knows its not coming back to him. He knows he is going to spend the rest of his life, working in the company his father set up, taking over the reigns of a regime which could only survive if the man running it was ready to sacrifice his personal life, to leave all that he was setting the regime up for. The author cherishes these days of joys and pains like a dying man, though he himself is not dying, but a part of him is already on its death bed, and soon will be no more. The author rites his in tribute to that soul, the same which had the courage to put mice into his principles office, the one who would make you laugh, the one who had the light of life and joy in his eyes, the kid whoz mind would think of the nicest of fantasies, a mind untarnished by laws or enforced reality and the one who shall be no more. A few months left for him to fade away, and a new part shall take his place, the one with no joy and tired lifeless eyes, the ne who would fake his laugh and forever cry, the one who craves for love, alas, this be the one that shall live.
so take out some time and bow your head and offer a silent prayer for the dying,
and pray a second longer for the dead that shall be now the living.
*a tear glistens at the edge of the authors eye, and he gently wipes it away and bows in head in silence awaiting the storm that shall come to be his life.

The Names

This post i made keeping in mind 2 things, the first being that the blogger is extremely bored and has nothing at all to do, than to rite on a blog which no one reads(Yes u no comment posting readers.......ur all qualified as no readers!). The second being that the blogger was struck with this thought of his ever changing names and identities during the ever so satisfyingly interesting boredom of his, the enlightening thought was that no one has ever realized the true reason he chooses his nicknames. He thus has decided, to spare some time out of his ever so busy lifestyle to clarify the reason for his nick names. The first thing to remember is that the author of this blog loves the concept of death and is extremely fascinated by it, Thus his names are always revolving around the concept of death. The first nickname the author adopted was "Walkin Death"this "oh so jolly!" nick came from the fact that, when the nick was chosen the author was not in the right emotional state and considered himself emotionally dead(Though obviously he wasnt, and some enlightened individuals would call it a "phase"). The nick name coupled with some interesting pictures of the grim reaper and the bloggers ever lasting love of death, gained him the reputation of being a dark knight(No i do not mean that the author became a masked crusader). Though as time went on (Which is a very irritating habit of time), the authors life took yet another exciting turn, to say little, the author found people who he cared for, and those who cared for him(The author is not starved for love!!.......I repeat - The author is NOT starved for love!!) . Now out of his love for one of those whom he cared for(Which was surprisingly a huge number of gentle souls), He yet again decided to change his identity, he changed his name(Also curiosity did play a huge role in that decision ), To "Azaan Nisar Khan". Which he still uses many a times, and personally likes it(People dont mispronounce this one at least !!). But lately, he has yet again changed his name, to "Le Chameleon" which in simple english(For those brainy and high and mighty people who may want it translated for them, even though im sure they OBVIOUSLY understand it) means "The Chameleon" which does NOT mean that he is becoming a lizard, but means that he is indeed an ever changing character, and may lie or tell the truth as and when it pleases him. (Obviously this could be a lie too)
have a nice day or dont, dont really care ;)

Eternal Fate

Darkened red, seamless clouds,
Filled with blood, guardians of the sky.
Black be the day sky,
Darker yet when he dies.


A single moon and pale white light,
Waiting for the howls.
Straight tall trees and twisted limbs,
Ransacked huts and broken pots.


The lack of breath means more than death,
there be no wails or broken cries.
The men are dead, cut right through,
The rest are ashes, burnt all the way too.


I walk the now, empty streets,
Those beloved lawns and now broken doors.
Their disembodied heads and chopped up limbs,
The eyes to forever be shocked.

I reach the open fields,
On grassless ground lies their leader.
His features scream his royal lineage,
The bloodied sword through his heart, Its end.


I look at him, the sorrow, it flows through me,
Mistaken love and everlasting sorrow.
I reach down and pull up his soul,
It smiles and comes with me, Tmrw shall be the same.




I rote this in math class...........its different...........i like it..........

Another hapless post - The role model

I chat and i chat and i chat, i laugh and make jokes and laugh and laugh a bit more................and then i suddenly see myself standing in a corner of my mind watching as an image of me goes on chatting and laughing.................dispassionate to life now........that part of me keeps watching as i go through things in life and it comes and saves me everytime im down there................its coldness washing over and numbing the pain.............its rational mind waking me up from my reveries......and sometimes.........i myself....not the images ...not him.......but me.........the orignal one...........i look at him standing in a corner.......waiting fr the next time........noeing its going to come...........and i wonder if i could become him forever..............effortlessly destroying all emotions.......devoid of the feeling of pain or joy........a silent calculating survival machine..........
to just come and go and be never known.............
my role model..............the other part of me..............

To Forget

Im riting this cuz i felt like.....People keep telling me that im a good poet and things, but if u ever think of it, things like poems and art are not just talent, they r born from your emotions.....the way you rite tells what kind of person you are, your strokes tell how aggressive you can be. I write when im sad, or when im happy or just when things fill up inside me. The hate that rises in me comes out in the form of the poems which have killing in them, the pain in the descriptive ones, the love in those of broken hearts and self hate in those which kill myself, and people think its a joke to write, and only nerds can do something like that. These people use their hate to hurt, not like us who keep it in to let others happy.........i noe i sound like an obnoxious bastard..........but thts how it is.......people ask me to write poems for them, just to be entertained...............do i look like or behave like i am some kind of poem riting software or machine?..............naa.....men have lost feelings nowdayz...........and those who still have it...............we;l get lost in the crowd.........






ps - i rote this hinking about all the times i had ritten poems.......

Twists and turns of Life

There can only be 2 reasonz fr me to be riting this.........its either im too bored or im getting paid fr it.....which i am not.Also things in the past have started to weigh on me,stress buster u may call this or just pointless trash.Lately life has displayed yet again its everlasting twisting qualities, just when i thought things might start to look up, the whole thing crashes around me.... leaving me to stand around and pretend like nothings happened, to say that its alrite, tht im alrite......and they believe me......even though i tell them all that i lie more than anything else, they take my word and go away like nothings happened. And i stand there, with the rubble of my dreams, my hopes and i think how easy it was fr life to take that turn, swerving off the happy tracks just when they began.People keep telling me that someday i'm going to get a lot of happiness i say thts bullshit, if u believe that, u must be a really lucky person. I think of all the things i could have done, how easily i could have made their life's, hell. But no, even though i be Lucifer, there still is a "saint " before it. They tell you that your worthwhile, that you mean something to people, Openly you agree, but you noe as ever they say so that you may shut up.I tell them i wont live long, and i noe i wont, and they tell you not to talk like that. You look for someone to tell things to, But then when you think you have found them, they just show you how crafty the brain of man can be. You tell them your hurting and yet they go on about how their lifes are messed up and how hard their work is, or how bad their mums will screw them, and you hear all that and think its better to just hear them talk and let them feel better.All anyone will say is life is tough, learn to face it. Frankly answer me, how many fuckers out there noe what it is to live like i have to, None do.....cuz u can never be in my place. I live in dignity, i find it HURTING MY PRIDE, to stoop before anyone. Yet i'l do it if it helps someone, im not praising anyone, heck!.....im worth being to sent to hell for all eternity. But, they way i see things....... i would rather be in hell, than in heaven with people like them.I amnt talking about anyone person in general, it's just how people have been for the better part of this year.Heck.....i wish all the times i tried to die, just once, only once i actually manage it......




ps - i noe, no one will read this post......but im riting anyway.

Cloudy Grave

the silvery wings i spread ,
leaping into the sky with no dread.
the hunt was good,
the flesh was fresh.

the wind , it lifts me high,
oblivious to the world below , above their heads i fly.
weightless on these leathery wings i soar,
soaking in the moonlight , i let out a happy roar.

the gentle winds caress my body,
their touch be the epitome of escatsy.
i roll over mid flight , dive and rise,
playing like a kid in my joy.

i smile as i see her tonight,
she keeps me company on this beautiful night.
thanks to her , this day i fly,
this is where after death , my soul shall reside.

ETERNAL LIGHT

Eternal Light

through the glass of wine i sink,
its shallow depth , a bottomless pit.
a sip of escatsy , a bitter pain,
drowning my sorrow in ur arms again.

I fullfill my longing fr u ,
a sigh escapes my lips at ur touch.
my yearning fr u , now increased by ur presence.
i stare at u , my thoughts do wonder.

another drink , to u i surrender,
i look at the moon , she comes to me frm over yonder.
her pale light , so sweet , so bright,
her heart purer thn silver or gold , her with wonder , i behold.


slowly she tips u into my mouth,
sip by sip , into her cold arms i slip.
my skin , it tingles at her touch,
the meadows green, the night be dark.

again i lie there in my blood,
the grass now red , the sun over my head.
waiting fr the night,
longing again for ur touch.

this cursed gift of mine,
this eternal death of mine.
to take u and never make u mine.
tonight i die, and yet lies on this mind.

ETERNAL LIGHT (GERMAN)

ewiges Licht


durch das Glas von Wein sinke ich,
seine seichte Tiefe, eine bodenlose Grube.
ein Nippen von escatsy, einem bitteren Schmerz,
das Ertrinken meines Kummers in ur Armen wieder.


Ich fullfill mein Verlangen fr u,
ein Seufzer entkommt meinen Lippen an der Ur-Berührung.
meine Sehnsucht fr u, jetzt vergrößert durch die ur Anwesenheit.
ich starre auf u, meine Gedanken fragen sich wirklich.


ein anderes Getränk zu u ergebe ich mich,
ich schaue auf den Mond, sie kommt zu mir frm da drüben.
ihr Lattenlicht, so süß, so hell,
ihr thn reineres Herzsilber oder Gold, sie mit dem Wunder, ich anschauen

langsam neigt sie u in meinen Mund,
Nippen durch das Nippen in ihre kalten Arme gleite ich.
meine Haut, es prickelt an ihrer Berührung,
die Wiesen grün, die Nacht, dunkel sein.

wieder lüge ich dort in meinem Blut,
das Gras jetzt rot, die Sonne über meinen Kopf.
das Warten fr die Nacht,
Verlangen wieder nach der Ur-Berührung.

dieses verdammte Geschenk von mir,
dieser ewige Tod von mir.
u zu nehmen und nie u meinig zu machen.
heute Abend sterbe ich, und liegt noch auf dieser Meinung.

MEIN TEIL(MY DEVIDE)

graben Sie darin und haben Sie die Zeit des ur Lebens,
wie es weg frm mein Körper heute Abend zurückgeht.
sie greifen nach meinem Gesicht, und ich lächle,
es soll Maden hier in einer Weile geben.

graben Sie Ihren Löffel in mein Auge,
nippen Sie an das Blut frm mein Eingeweide.
durch die Silberkönigin schwöre ich,
heute Abend speisen u, und ich werde nicht schreien.

sie ziehen an meiner Haut,
es Geläute von ohne einen Kampf.
mein Gehirn langweilt sich durch,
sie trinken durch das Loch.

die Luft kühlt wirklich ab,
sie spannen sich an, noeing ist sie fr das Töten gekommen.
mein Gesicht spaltet sich wirklich in ein Grinsen auf,
so sie comez fr ich schließlich.

symetrically schnitt ich es,
tauchen Sie wats verlassen meiner Finger darin.
ich ziehe, und es öffnet,
ich nehme es weg, und noch lebe ich.

die Wärme des Bluts sickert durch mein Baumeln viens,
das Blut rein und reich.
es bumst härter in ihrer Hand,
mein Herz ich noe, ist alles andere als mild.

mit escatsy schreie ich,
wie sie mit dem Geschmack es trocken leckt.
und ich resiegn zurück, wie sie ihren ersten Bissen nimmt,
dieser doesnt endet hier nicht heute Abend.

seitdem ich sie lebendig aß,
jeder einzelne Tag wie das sterbe ich.
nicht mehr dem Herrn schreie ich,
heute Abend ist Wat gestern war, und Wat wird tmrw ...... sein

MEIN TIEL

dig in and have the time of ur life,
as it ebbs away frm my body tonight.
they claw at my face and i smile,
there shall be maggots here in a while.

dig your spoon into my eye,
sip the blood frm my intestine.
by the silver queen , i swear,
tonight u dine and i shall not cry.

they pull at my skin,
it peals off without a fight.
my brain is bored through,
they drink through the hole.


the air does chill,
they tense up, noeing she has come fr the kill.
my face does split into a grin,
so she comez fr me after all.

symetrically i cut it up,
plunge wats left of my fingers in.
i pull and it opens up,
i take it out and yet i live.

the warmth of the blood seeps through my dangling viens,
the blood pure and rich.
it thumps harder in her hand,
my heart i noe , is anything but bland.

with escatsy i cry,
as she with relish licks it dry.
and i resiegn back as she takes her first bite,
this doesnt end here, not tonight.

since i ate her alive,
every single day like this i die.
not anymore to the lord i cry,
tonight is wat yesterday was and wat tmrw will be......