The Suicide

I pierce my hand and watch the blood,
i yearn to feel its warmth.
my skin, it pales under its flow,
yet no warmth seeps into my soul.

I drag my feet towards the door,
So hard it be without the blood.
I look at them, all chatting, smiling,
I pray to the lord to keep them forever so.

I fall as my knees do buckle,
no more need of them, to me.
I see into the past again,
me sitting there, laughing with them.

A single tear, mixes with blood,
I loose all feeling in my lungs.
The hands dont move,
my legs do shiver.

I burn them into my soul,
i feel my brain go cold.
With unseeing eyes, i'l watch on them,
Forever now, i'l laugh with them.

W.D.

Whispered Words

In gentle words i'l break your heart,
i'l leave my touch on ur skin.
In whispered words i'l make you fear,
silently, u shall hear.

Its a play today,
we'll rehearse tomorrow.
I'l dance with you,
in the joy of your sorrow.

I'l hold you close, warm and tight,
tight enough for you to break by night.
U'l feel the warmth and the closeness,
The warmth of blood, and the closeness of death.

i'l break your heart and move away,
i'l watch u sway and fall.
I'l live and die with it all,
But never be able to live at all.

I stand and watch you walk on by,
past me and all your sorrows.
Its better if you go on by,
the pain and sorrow are all mine.

Cant watch you pay,
cant watch you suffer.
Aye man, just leave me be,
For death is the one for me.

W.D.

Enigmatrix

The author is writing this post, sitting in complete darkness except for the light of his laptop in his room. He likes the darkness again. It has come to be in the authors life, that once again his set of rules of life have proven themselves to be steadfast and true. The happiness that he believed had come into his life, left as unannounced as it had come, leaving the author standing in the wreckage of a blown out party. Every moment he believed that his life had changed, every second he told himself that the next day would be better. He was playing with himself, twisting the dagger deep into his soul. When he realized it had all blown apart, that the party was over before it had begun. He once again felt broken, but this time he didnt fall, his knees buckled a little, he staggered a moment under the pressure of the broken dreams, but eventually his legs held and he went back to his old life, to the place where he had come from. Once again now, the author closes himself, picks out another mask, puts it on and watches the world, all emotions suppressed and hidden under that mask of coldness and under those deep green oceans of his eyes.

*The author does not care to cry or to hurt himself anymore, he justs walks the path with the others, but all alone.

Flight of the burden

Today the author is happy to inform his readers that his new method of not telling anymore lies to his teacher reached a conclusive and happy ending today. The author is glad to let you know that due to his honesty and his will to achieve better and make a better person of himself, he, the author has been able to do well in his exams. His DELEC lab test was superb and the author is expecting a distinction grade, also his DELEC written paper went pretty well. But, the most important happening in the authors life today, was that, his c# programming project was approved by the teacher and his honesty was appreciated, when he openly told his teacher about the fact that he had taken help from his friends to do the project, and that he understood only 75% of the project. Also the author is glad to inform that he passed his c# practical test with distinction as well(The author might seem studious, but believe me, he isnt!). Also the author would like to take this opportunity to thank Jonathan Lim and Kenji Teo, his classmates and good friends who helped him complete his project.Now the author is able to relax his mind till tuesday night, where he shall once again be worried by the approaching web designing test(Yes, the authors life is extremely dull and boring for the past one week).
Also since, tomorrow the author has no lectures, he plans to go out and spend his day with some of his good friends, More about "The Adventures Of Author And Friends" in tomorrows post.

*The author wishes all readers a pleasant day and night.

Unblue Monday

The author is writing about his monday, the day of blues and over powering urges to sleep in class. The author started his monday on a worried note, and a frown upon his brow. He had not completed his project as of yet, and he was due to hand in, but as we all know (if u do not know, then please refer to previous posts) the author had made a pledge unto himself to tell the truth about his work to his teachers,(oddly, telling the truth got him into less trouble).Since the author had not his project with him, he was allowed to leave early, though he still had a class later that day, the author decided to skip the last class(Note - the author is notorious for bunking classes). Then the author decided to meet up with a good friend and spend the rest of his "college time", in another college, relaxing with his friend. Though it took a lot of time(and considerable sum of money)to get to his friends college, he finally made it there. Once there, he was yet again lost for a bit, while trying to find his friend. Once though he had met her, they went and sat down in the corridor of the recording rooms(Yes they sat on the floor, No the did not do recording). Now as it was supposed to be according to plan, they were to watch a movie. But, suddenly, out of the blue, the author had this mad urge to make an angel. So he quickly took out his notepad(No he did not have a sketchbook with him!)and began to draw, first came the wings and then the rest of the body(No he is not describing child birth : ). Overall the author has to say that he was quite pleased with himself(as even though he had an active imagination, he sucked at drawing).
Later he is happy to say, he had a great time with his friend and they chatted till pretty late.
All in all, the author had a suprisingly good monday.


*The author would like to take this oppurtunity to thank Princess Fatimah Tariq for hanging out with him.

Angels

The author has copied this post from his previous blog, in memory of old friends =)





Hi!! and a good mornin to most of u ppl. My first serious topical post is on angels, infact special types or breeds of angels.A few months back i recieved a sms from my frend back home from india, and it read " Angels exist but sometimes as not all of them have wings they are called FRIENDS" . Yea u gussed it this post is goin out to my angelic frenz, if not for some of em, i dont noe where or wat i would be doin now. When i was in india(i noe my indian frenz arent readin this but im compelled to rite em down)i had a awesome bunch of 6 frenz. We were like the 7 musketeers, always together,helpin each other out.Sadly things driffted appart and i was left with only of my frenz from our group. Then secondary skl saw me makin some really true frenz, who im glad to say are still my frenz. I noe none of u care who they were but for my own sake i write down thier names- Osama, Rajat and Anjishnu. Even though anji went away after a while to Vancouver i never will forget him.
Then i came here to Singapore and i thought that my frend life was done, but by gods grace i have found friends here i really never expected too. In my secondary skl i found a guy named gaurav and i swear if he isnt an angel then no one is.He's got me outta tight spots so much that i v truly lost all count. Even now after i have finished my sec skl we still keep in touch and he's still helpin me out.Infact im meetin him today.
I.T.E life has also delivered to me some awesome frenz, to name em Vanessa,Belle,Naz,Dom and Sim and so onn......... These guys are pretty good fun frenz and thanx to these guys im well becomin relatively more comfy in singapore(thnx belle).Also dom thnx for helpin me to learn the drums for free and thnx vanessa for well..........bein my friend same to naz and sim.Other than these guyz i have another couple of i.t.e frenz namely Kezia,Jerms(Jeremy) and well the rst of the bunch .thnx to jerms and kez im kinda well more open round people and stuff(sry guyz i really cant describe how i feel).Also other than i.t.e friendster and s.i. helped me find this friend Princess(also her sis whose pretty cool i have to say though i dont noe her much yet) ! and i would like to specially thank her for bein there u noe, also im sry i noe i bug u a lot.(actually sry to all of u i v bugged u all a lot).Guyz i request you remain who you are Angels!! ill never forget u all!!

The Force

The author is writing this because he is restless, he has this force running through him. A power pure and true, he looks at his blog skin and he feels like the howl escaping the wolf's mouth, fighting around the branches of the trees, jumping through them in joy, using a relentless power. He feels like the beam of moonlight, shooting down the shaft, flitting through the wind with pleasure unknown. He feels his mind on the brink of opening, even though his body is wracked with tiredness, his mind holds the power to thrust out such jolts of pure imagination to actually create substance. I f god ever built anything, he built it with this power. The author feels confident enough to jump down the building and somehow convinces himself that the power of the force will save him, its the pleasure of being invulnerable. He feels the scream of unbounded joy tear at his lungs to be let out, to shake the world, and the author shuts his eyes tight and flies through the air at speeds unheard of, his body unmoving, but his soul covering bounds in seconds, going to places unknown. This be the joy, the feeling a person feels when he has a imaginative mind{note - the author is NOT praising himself!!}.
*The author wishes that someday all of you feel the power of the force flitting through your souls.
To infinity and beyond we go!!

Interesting uninterestingness

Another of the authors hapless posts. So do feel free to read and get bored. The author is writing this because he is extremely sleepy, but doesnt really want to fall asleep. Today the author's silent little dog, his ever watching companion fell sick, causing pandemonium in the household. Though the author loves his pets, he was not really affected by this sudden onslaught of sickness, infact he had already made his "diagnosis". None the less, the praying mother and the worried father, screamed their lungs out at him to take the dog to the vet, to get him all checked out. With super slowness and dragging feet, he somehow reached the vet. There he found that his dog was sick, a cold he had bereft. So with boredom on his face and some "polite"thoughts swirling in his head, he headed back to his "sanctuary", where he was met with the still shouting mother and a brainless brother, who bugged him till he was lost. Shouting his way through the mayhem the author somehow managed to reach back to his room, emotionally and physically unharmed. Thus passed another eventful afternoon in the life of the author.

*feel free to kill the author for boring the life out of you.

Life

passionate dispassionateness,
loving hate.
unsophisticated sophistications,
darkened light.

swiveling shards of broken dreams,
and shallow breaths of pain.
little reveries of memories,
and endless nights of rain.

sounds of crunching glass,
and silent gasps of pain.
firmly shut, closed eyes,
and articulately colored dreams.

revolving thoughts in the head,
incoherent words in vain.
red splotches on the carpet,
blood running from the insane.

quiet stories in the dark,
truly learnt, well and sharp.
unanswered questions by the dawn,
unbroken silent on the lawn.

a sleight of hand, decisive toss,
a twisted path of game.
silent players in the light,
to be played by life.

A Dance Of The Past With The Present

The author is writing this while he's lying on his bed, thoughts flitting through his mind and making sense in an odd sense of way. He pens this down as more for himself than for you, 'the reader'. Since his last post a couple of hours ago, the author had the fortune of spending time with his family, and as is the rule of family meetings, things of the past have to crop up, in the form of half forgotten memories. Some painful, some full of fun, some remembering those long gone and some in honor of each other. Today the author had the fortune of getting to know more about his past, something that has ebbed away from him, the tales of his childhood and those of his parents and their thinking at his age reminded the author as to how alike he was to his parents. It was pleasant for the author to know about times gone by, and to understand the meanings of things left unexplained and to know what mistakes his parents had made and to understand why they had made those mistakes and also why he must not make them. Today the author would like to present this entry as a tribute to his beloved (if sometimes obnoxious and insufferable ) parents.

*The author is feeling content at the moment and wishes all the readers (if any at all :|) to have a pleasant day(or night).